Marriage - The Paradox

I was thinking back on my 1st marriage. I married at the very young age of 23. Like I said in previous posts;my parents both died before I was 21. One of the things you really want (and I quote Kurt Cobaine) is that security of a normal family. Many times Kurt references "Not being this happy since I was 7".(the age he was when his parents divorced). So I will go on record as saying that I really missed the comfort and security of having undeserved love. But what I didn't realize was that it takes an adult to give undeserved love.

A close friend of mine told me that when she divorced her first husband, she had no children and it was boyfriend and girlfriend breaking up.

When you marry in your early years (before 30) you are still carrying your sibling thoughts and motives with you. Even worse, if you're an only child, god help your spouse. I've noticed many things that I do now in my mid-life years that I couldn't dream of doing 30 years ago. I mean I just wasn't that thoughtful. And my ex-spouse was even less thoughtful. I was a sucker and she knew it. I don't know at what point it is in a relationship when you start worrying about wanting to make the relationship work. Until you do, most young couples are like sister and brother running a household with mom and dad gone on vacation. Simple things like wondering "who's turn it is to clean the cat litter". At some point, you just do it and don't worry about the last time your partner did it.

Young marriages by definition can't see the big picture. Most aren't ready to raise children let alone themselves, and think that marriage is a "sexathon". Well until one or the other gets tired of it. The sex is mostly physical. I know some readers are reading this thinking:"what else is there?" ..........pssst "spiritual"

The concept of marriage and procreation is such an Irony. It's a downright paradox. The younger you are, the more energy you have for pursuing your goals. You also have the ability to work a job while being up all night with a child with a stuffy nose. On the other hand you don't know crap about raising kids. Hopefully you'll have well intending parents that can teach you the importance of creating wealth.

The older you are when you marry, the more respectful you become of your spouse. You see this other person as someone that demands respect and not a sibling you can try and get one over on. Raising children takes on a different demeanor as you have more patience and can predict behavioral responses. On the other hand, If you have children much past 45, you're going to orphan them sooner than had you gotten married at 25. This also is not fair to your children.

It reminds me of an old Mark Twain quote: "Youth is wasted on the young".



Ace out.............

Money, Geld, Cashola ~ Let's examine it

Money is often called currency. It is used to enable "Quid Pro Quo" transactions. What role does money play in our lives? I would say it's as important as air. Without money, your life is going to be difficult. Without a lot of it, it's going to be a struggle. And if it's not, the struggle is coming at someone else's expense. (like mom and dad's)

But many of us say we want wealth. But the media (Television, newspaper and radio) has done a great job of making you think you don't really want it. A common example is "Gilligan's Island". How did the producers of Gilligan's Island make the Howells out to be? Idiot misers. So as children we thought, if we get rich, we'll be percieved as bufoons.

Even before television. Look at Dickens and "A Christmas Carol" Ebeneezer Scrooge is depicted as a cruel heartless penny pinching dictator.

Let's go way back now. Look at the new testament. Jesus says "It will be easier for a camel to pass thru the eye of a needle; than for a rich man to enter heaven".

And of course to go along with that you have "The Love of money is the root of many evils". (not as it is commonly misquoted "Money is the root of all evils")

But money is like oxygen. Those who have money do not die of exposure. Those who have money still die, eventually, but even the apostle Paul said that it was important for man to work and earn his living.(I'm paraphrasing)

I've actually heard preachers say that they "didn't want to be to rich or they might forget God, yet they didn't want to be to poor or they might resent God". Boy sounds like a lot of housewifes talking about their husbands.

I've been studying the subject of Money quite a bit lately. It started when I invested in the DVD "The secret". The secret is one of the nicest incomplete movies you'll ever watch. Of course if you go on the internet you'll find a pleathora of books, videos and CD's that try to cell you the "missing SECRET".

All of them are trying to tell you that the reason the "Secret" is not working for you is because you have a "limiting belief". And just buy my book/CD/DVD and I'll show you how to identify and rid yourself of your subconcious belief that is holding you back from your riches.

I spoke ealier about our attitudes that we have about rich people. This indeed is more common than you might believe. There are endless reasons why people won't let themselves become rich. The biggest reason (and I'll save you about 200 bucks in books) is that you don't feel that you're deserving for one reason or another (or several).

I'm afraid money would change me.

I wouldn't feel right making more money than my parents.

The Bible says I should be poor.

Most rich people I know are unhappy.

etc......

These are all dearly held beliefs. But they're all just flawed progammed thinking.

Yes money will change you, but what wrong with not having bills to pay?
Your parents are abusing you if they wouldn't love for you to be rich?
The Bible says nothing about wanting you to be poor. Actually the Bible talks about "Abundant blessings".
Happiness comes from within. Happiness is a state. It's not something that money buys. Now the lack of money can lead to many situations that will challenge your happiness if you don't have a solid relationship grounded in trust. But money in itself is just a tool. It's like a fork. Forks don't make you fat. Money doesn't make you happy or unhappy.

Americans should have a greater respect for money. Parents, teach your children to respect money. It's humanly essential to be financially responsible. Just as much as it is to be hygenically clean or morally law abiding.

Remember, you can never be too thin or too rich.



Ace out........

No good deed goes unpunished

Don't be surprised if you ever save a person's life, then 4 years later they tell you to go have sex with your self. (I'm paraphrasing) This just goes to show that people are people and not these spirits having a "human" experience. (Teilhard De Chardin) Even those who profess to know God can't resist Satan at times and while in back up behavior, spew the most vile vitriol in a tantrum like manner.

Gratitude is not one of man's better virtues. Especially when it is guided by emotion.

Someone once said: " You need to cling to this fact; Feelings come and go, commitment does not."

But I have learned not to be disappointed in man any longer. To quote Peter O'Toole in the movie "My Favorite Year". "You can always count on Duffy; He will always let you down".

I learned long ago that humans care not what you did for them yesterday. Nor even what you could do for them tomorrow. It's what have you done for me today that wins favor in the eyes of the beholder.

And gratitude for saving a life? I guess it's all a bunch of bull shit isn't it?


Ace out.........

Hearst Castle in San Simione

Visiting the Hearst Castle

I've lived in California most of my life. I've been to almost all of California's tourist attractions except two. I've never been to Alcatraz.

And:

If you ever get the chance; pull over the next time you're heading north out of L.A. and visit the Castle of William Randolph Hearst. It's a beautiful example of not knowing what to do with all of your money. I only say this because I couldn't imagine living in this place. It is sort of a European Castle that was decorated in Spanish missionary art. It is also known that Hearst spent most of his time in the little house at the foot of the Castle.

But it wasn't only a castle, but a wild game preserve as well. He even had a zoo like exhibit for his pet "Bears". The grounds are still occupied by cows (which are raised for slaughter) as well as deer, vultures, and other critters endemic to California. I have to admit, it is one place I would love to throw a party. The pools (both of them) are just unbelievable. I've got pics that I'll post.

The drive up highway 1 or the PCH as it's called, is quite punishing. I would recommend that you rent a small sports car if you make the trip by land. Don't be fooled by the stretch of highway 1 from SF to Monterey or the stretch from L.A. to San Simione. There's about a 100 miles of Bavarian hairpins between San Simione and Carmel.

But I believe there is nothing like the Castle in America, not even Graceland. It was interesting to note that Hearst not only owned the Castle but he also owned the "Waldorf Astoria" in New York. The castle is now owned by the state of California. So after you've been burned out on Disneyland, the San Diego Zoo, Knott's Berry farm and Paramount's Great America, pull over and take the 2 hour tour of pure decadence. You'll be glad you did.


Ace out........

This Says it all

Dr.Joe Vitale's 15 minute Miracle

The Last words of a great Poet

To Boddah
Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to understand.

All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven't felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guity beyond words about these things.

For example when we're back stage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowds begins., it doesn't affect me the way in which it did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love, relish in the the love and adoration from the crowd which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can't fool you, any one of you. It simply isn't fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having 100% fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage. I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do,God, believe me I do, but it's not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. It must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they're gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasms I once had as a child.



On our last 3 tours, I've had a much better appreciation for all the people I've known personally, and as fans of our music, but I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man. Why don't you just enjoy it? I don't know!

I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what i used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I can't stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that I've become.

I have it good, very good, and I'm grateful, but since the age of seven, I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much I guess.

Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember, it's better to burn out than to fade away.

Peace, love, empathy.
Kurt Cobain

Frances and Courtney, I'll be at your alter.
Please keep going Courtney, for Frances.
For her life, which will be so much happier without me.


I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!

Paul's Blog

Paul Piotrowski at InspiredMoneyMaker.com is running A Crazy Blog Contest With a Big Twist and prizes worth well over $100. His Blog teaches people how to make money doing what you love and he’s come up with a really neat contest idea that takes cares of all the people who enter even if they don’t win this time.

There are also Knock-Knock Jokes!

OUR DEEPEST FEAR

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is
within us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously
give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

Ladies and Gentleman, again the Tielman brothers

Jacky and Dunlap on the Rev.Wright

The Reverend Horton HEAT on Divorce

I would seriously listen to "Where the Hell did you go with my toothbrush" and "Liquor Beer and Wine" But this is the best quality video I could find of one of my favorites.