Sunday, September 30, 2012

Diggers - National Geographic

One night I was watching this strange but unique show about two guys from Montana who created a "Reality" show about metal detecting.  I saved a copy of it to show my wife how incredibly stupid yet entertaining these two yokels from Montana were. 

The show is/was called "Diggers".  The title strip was so bad, it showed their version of Beavis and Buttthead holding up a "Low budget" card board cut out of the show's Title.

The show was basically a contest of two young 20 somethings walking around with their metal detectors looking for historical/valuable artifact.  One guy would challenge the other.  The guy who dug up the least in total value, had to do something childishly stupid.  In the 2nd episode, the short chubby guy rides a bicycle off a dock into a freezing lake wearing a viking woman's dress and wig complete with horned helmet.

In the opener, the duo digs in an abandoned prison where they find spoons (for shanks) and old coins which they refer to as "Roundness".  The diggers have their own "slang" Such as "Juice" for anything they find that makes their detectors go off.  They call the good stuff: " Nectar".  If they find stuff from the civil war it's called "siv" etc.....

Apparently the National Geographic program pissed off the "National Archaeologist Association" who claim the production company did not have "Permission" to dig in an area listed as a historical site.  *Note: The show does run a disclaimer saying it is unlawful to dig in nation parks etc....

Amazingly, there was a movement started on Facebook to pull the TV show from the air.  Before I talk about what a poorly produced show this was and felt it would have died a quick death from bad ratings, let me first say that it was an attempt at creating another "reality hit" like "Pawn Stars" or "American Pickers".  Personally I really thought the show reminded me of a cross between Cajun Pawn stars and Jack Ass with real live Beavis and butt heads.

 I truly thought the show was a joke.  On the educational side, the two do a magnificent job of pointing out historical facts.  I mean, who knew that the value of a King George coin from the 1700's went for 40 bucks?   I felt the show had a good educational side to it.  Perhaps the Archaeologists wanted to smash a new hobby craze which "could" contaminate potential archaeological digs.  What price freedom?  I say to the Archaeologists and would advise NatGeo to say: "Fuck them".

But now that there is an active assault on what we can or can not see on cable TV, I'd like to see the show get it's 15 minutes of fame.  At least give it a shot to improve or sink.  I'm tired of this administration turning our media into Pravda.  Valerie Jarett can take the Montana Archaeologists and shove them up her ass.  Nat Geo has obviously gotten smack for their hit show "Doomsday Preppers" which starts out talking trash about the economy. (Truthfully I might add) It got to the point where people who were on the show started telling their true stories of how the producers made the preppers change their reason for prepping.  The majority said they saw the crash of the economy and civil unrest coming.  Not a good message when you're running for re-election.

 Kiss my ass Mr. President.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

A Tale of 2 Lincolns

Abraham Lincoln is the face on a 5 dollar bill. 

When I'm in a "giving mood" I have no problems sharing a 5 with someone in need.  There in lays the problem.

I've softened over the years.  Before the current disaster of an administration; I use to be harsh on "beggars".  But before Obama, it was not hard to get a job. 

My story begins as I am entering the Carmel Crossroads Safeway grocery store.  I see an old grizzly guy in very faded woodland camouflage  He had a ZZ Top beard and looked thin.  He looked DOWN and I felt for the guy because I felt he was probably a fellow veteran.  So I told him on the way in: "Stick around brother and I'll have something for you on the way out".

3 days later I was walking Sasha and Wolfgang.  We came up on the cutest little 5 or 6 year old girl and her home made lemonade stand.  I was going to give her something just for showing a fine work ethic.  So I pull out a Five. (It's all I have).  I gave it to her and she poured me a glass of minute maid lemonade. "It was the BEST lemonade I have ever consumed anywhere".  As I was walking away with the 2 dogs I could hear in the background: " HEY MOMMY LOOK"!  I felt really good to have made her day because she was looking really DOWN.

That same day I had to go to Safeway to pick up something I needed for dinner that night.  I saw the same guy in camos. He looks at me and says: "Can ya help a veteran"?  I said: "Bro, I gave you a five two days ago".  His answer was: "You did"?

Now I'm not the first to say that I'm the most recognizable person on the Monterey peninsula after Clint Eastwood.  But like Einstein; I where the same pants and shirt every day. I have several black mock turtle necks and 4 pair of modern camo pants.  I also have hair like Paul Stanley of Kiss.

So this guy had no clue that I had helped him out nor did he seem to care.  I meant nothing more than another sucker giving him money.

On the bright side, a few weeks later Sasha, Wolfgang and myself were walking and a cute little girl drove by and smiled at me and said HI!  It took me a while to figure out that She was the little girl at the Lemon aid stand. 

So you tell me who deserved the five dollars?  Who did the money have the bigger effect on? 

The Lemon-aid was worth every penny.



Saturday, September 01, 2012


We thought it was the greatest thing in the world.  Not only did 1956 bring us Elvis and Heartbreak Hotel; it brought us Chuck Berry and Johnny B. Goode.  It also brought us Ace Andres and many like me.  Well, maybe not "MANY".  But in the midst of the 50s, middle class America saw the rise and fall of many "Tap dancing" or "Accordion" schools.  Fortunately for me I got tap dance lessons.  It was great in that at the age of about five, I was performing in front of hundreds at the county fair.

I think it was around this time (1961) that a song came out called "Mustang Sally".  It was a wonderfully simple blues song for guitarists.  It was comparable to a piano guy playing "chopsticks.

By the time I was a teen, I had lost my mom, but I had gained a guitar and a Jimi Hendrix live at the Monterey Pop festival album. (Flip side of album had Otis Redding)  Ironically, I go by that stage every week.  I studied Jimi's guitar riffs.  Then Woodstock came along and a group that KILLED EVERYONE at that concert had a guitarist named Alvin Lee.  (One of my last living Heroes) So in my late teens I had to learn to "SHRED" (This is a term used to describe playing at mach 2) Oddly enough what inspired this blog entry today was Alvin Lee's new Album.  WHAT?  The album is called "Still walking on the road to Freedom".  Good Lord, I'm impressed Alvin can still walk without a cane.
Who does Alvin think is going to buy his new album. Most of Alvin's fans are trying to find "A space in Time" on MP.3 for their Ipods or Iphones.  Many of Alvins fans are trying to find an extended care nurse that will play "Rock and Roll Music to the World" on their old Cassette players.

We thought it was the greatest thing in the world when Eddie Van Halen showed us 25 year old guitar slingers how to do "Multi-finger fretboard pull offs".  Eddie raised the board for us rock guitarists.  This was sort of the new thing you had to "know" how to do to be recognized as a 6 string fighter pilot. An Ace......

While Marshall was making money by the millions selling JCM 800s, bar bands were still playing "Mustang Sally".

The 80s and 90s flew by with Hollywood trying everything short of suicide to get the attention of the newest generation.  The bar bands kept playing "Mustang Sally" But by the turn of the millennium; Heart Break Hotel had closed it's doors.  In fact the Doors had closed the Morrison Hotel.

Yet in every city in any damp, beer soaked carpet is a band playing "Mustang Sally"

If you were born in the 70s, 80s or even the early 90s, you're going to hear bar bands with old guys playing the same set list that starts with "Mustang Sally" and ends with "Brick House" 

Rock Music is the new Roller Skating rink of the 21st Century.  Instead of the Hokey Pokey, it's some AARP members playing "Mustang Sally".

AS someone said on YouTube in response to one of my videos: "Ace, you're a dying breed".  Seeing Neil Armstrong pass away or cross over makes me wonder.  Who needs a 4 finger pull off shredder anymore? For that matter; who needs a lunar Astronaut any more?