Wednesday, January 01, 2014

Snow White VS. OBAMA

I've been taking a breather from the depressing political climate until the Holidays are officially behind us.  One can only take so much of that lying piece of shit in the oval orifice.  Writing about Obama's idiocy and ignorance and Eric Holder's corruption combined with the blatant incompetence of Kathleen Sibelius takes its' toll on the human body as well as the brain.  Obama has taken the Cloward and Piven Strategy to an epic altitude.  We'll talk about the 1.7 Billion rounds of hollow points in the coming days.  In the meantime; I want to use this last day to discuss something that will help make you a better person and something I wish I would have known in my young and still somewhat innocent 20s.

Why we find people attractive

The last time I was single (1996 - 2001) I was smart enough to take a class called "Finding the Love of Your Life" . It was a course  by Dr. Neil Clark Warren.  Many of you may have seen Dr. Warren in his commercials for .  One chapter in the course focused on a question that has puzzled me all of my life.

Why do we find certain people more attractive than others? And why are some women percieved as very attractive to a majority of men?

Dr. Warren says it's our childhood scripting that is the programming of our fantasy partner. In other words Hollywood.

Somewhere in the DNA of the seeds of our Puberty lay the visions of Beauty as described by Disney. (Or Pixar for you kids) If you study the characters of "Sleeping Beauty" "Snow White" or even "Cinderella" you'll find that Disney preferred a light skinned, caucasion girl with Big Eyes, a small nose, and big lips. Prominent cheek bones were also common. These images are what keep cosmetic sugeons busy every day.  Rhinoplasty makes your nose smaller. Blepharoplasty makes your eye bigger (by reducing the eyelids). And of course what would Angelina Jolie be without collegin in those bee stung lips?

As you can see, This was the image little boys were told to look for; and the appearance little girls were told to aim for. I guess it would have helped to be Nordic in ethnicity.  It's interesting to note that these physical attributes are not limited to little white boys.  In the black neighborhood, "Scoring" a "white bitch"  makes you the Mack Daddy. (Excuse me,, "The Big Mack Daddy). 

So we go through life using these mental images as what we need to attain to be successful in life. If you're a minority; forget it. This isn't the country for you. You blondes wonder why Black and  Hispanic girls have a chip on their shoulders? EVEN in the movie KING KONG the Gorilla was offered up an African female human sacrifice with a BLONDE WIG. So can we blame Walt Disney for the 50% divorce rate in America Today?

Perhaps there's enough blame to go around all of Hollywood. But ultimately we only have ourselves to blame. Self esteem is not something that comes from society's norms.  As children, we are taught with positive and negative re-inforcement. If we do something good, your parents tell you so. If you do something bad, you are admonished. So as chidren, we are always looking outside (from someone other than ourselves) for "confirmations" or "Validations" of our behavior and preferrences. Unfortunately, this doesn't stop at behavior. We do the same thing for our profession, our lifestyle and of course our appearance.

Robert Wright in his book "The Moral Animal", confirms Disney's preferred attributes.  As a sociologist he looks at the concept of "Physical Attraction" based on Health.  We are wired to be attracted to facial attributes that coincide with a healthy appearance.  When one is sick with a cold, the nose turns red and swells from the constant inflammation and drainage.  Thus we tend to avoid the face with a large nose.  Small (Beady) eyes are also indicative of a sick looking person.  Our eyelids get puffy when we get sick and tend to take on the Rocky Balboa look from the end of the 2nd round of the first fight with Apollo Creed.  Age also makes our eyes sag.  So we find large round eyes attractive.  Thick hair is also a sign of health.  When we are terminally sick, our hair starts to thin.  As we age, it loses it's color.  So you get the Idea.  What Robert Wright wrote about in his book on anthropological attractions matches Disney and Mattel's representation of the attractive person.

In Science, we use what is called a "control" or a "Calibrant" to determine what is normal to give us "desirable" results. And as humans, we want to use that same type of pardigm (pronounced "pair- uh- dime) or method of thinking. So as a young "virile" male; if I can mate with someone that looks like "Barbie". Then that reflects on my ability to attract women.  It gives me external validation of my ability to attract a certain quality/Image of a partner.  It says nothing about my ability to have a lasting relationship (see Hollywood marriages and their longevity) .
Dr. Warren went on to classify people that were seeking a mate in 3 categories.

1. Breezers - (I'm paraphrasing) These are people that look like Hollywood's perception of Beautiful. These people never have to look for a date. They're always having people hit on them and their biggest problem is weeding out the one's they dislike. I guess this would be the Jennifers, Brads, Bens and Angelinas of the world.

2. The Short Shrifted - You know who you are. I guess the best phrase that describes this bunch is from the Woody Allen movie "Annie Hall" Woody quotes Graucho Marx when describing his relationships. He says "I would never want to be in a club that would have Me as a member". I think this describes the sort of "Programmed" social suicide that keeps many humans from being happy. I've seen it many times with financially successful people. We don't want what we don't have, we want what we can't have. Short shrifted people think they're too good for what has come their way. The problem is, all of their decision making criteria is based on physical attribute with low self esteem as the common denominator.

3. The desperate - Yes, these are people with just the opposite problem of the short shrifted. They lack self-esteem and are drawn to anyone that will look at them twice. They mistake attention for attraction. It's very sad because true beauty lays within the person. And these people sell themselves short.

Hollywood has sold us a bill of goods. They want us to think that a mindless bimbo has more going for her than Sally Ride. The more women gained from the civil rights movement of the 60's; the more Hollywood has stripped them of by focusing on their physical attributes. True beauty doesn't come from the Macy's counter. It doesn't come from having the right genetic make up. It's not about what you have, where you live, what you wear or what you do. It's about what you are. To millions of shallow girls, they find their role models in Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson. In their Hollywood programmed mind; "if only I could look like her all of my problems would be over".

It's very sad. As long as we keep using the television as a form of parenting, we will continue to support this self-destructive myth. When little girls long to be more like Sister Theresa, or Sally Ride and Men start appreciating women as beings and not Trophies; then will there be hope for future generations. Only then will the divorce rate start to decline. Only then will humanity start to scratch the surface of it's potential.  We won't make any real progress until we respect ourselves first.
Is this what our culture has come to?


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