Monday, December 30, 2013

What is Hip?


(For those under 45 translate it as “What is cool, sweet, sick or whatever the new vernacular is”)

With the New Year just hours away; many people are looking for a new “Thing”.  Do you want to change your looks? Most people attempt this by trying to lose weight.  I think that’s the top resolution, and the first one to be given up on.  Some people want to go out and buy a new wardrobe that’s just not them, but it’s what they see others wearing so “They will fit in”.   Maybe trade in last year’s car so you are in the “In Crowd”.


Did you ever see “Beverly Hills Cop”?   Eddie Murphy is walking down the sidewalks of L.A. and he sees two guys wearing Michael Jackson “Thriller” jackets.  As they pass, Murphy laughs his ass off.  Did you ever see the movie “The Wedding Singer”? Besides the appearance of the “Thriller jacket once again; at the end of the movie Adam Sandler is racing to buy an airlines ticket and the guy at the counter is wearing a “Flock of Sea Gulls” hair doo.  It’s hilarious.


Why do some guys who shave their head bald like Michael Jordan look cool, and some guys shave their head and look like they’re undergoing Chemo-Therapy? 

They’re all trying to be cool. 
Yet because of their insecurities, they have to look at others or through catalogues for that “Hip” style.  I strongly proclaim, your coolness comes from within.  What worked for Michael Jackson wouldn’t have worked for Michael Jordan.  Come on; give me a show of hands if you ever wore or were forced to wear a pair of M.C. Hammer Baggie Pants!



Was cool (and hip)

He had 5 pairs of suits all the same, 7 white dress shirts, 7 pair of black socks, and 7 white T-shirts. (I can’t confirm how many ties he owned).  He was so cool, He broke the “I” before “E” except after “C” rule twice in his last name.  The point is; He chose his wardrobe to simplify his life and not waste brain power on wardrobe decisions.  Einstein was one of the coolest Icons of all time.


Then                     Now
I read about this in the 90s and started wearing blue jeans, black long sleeved mock turtle neck shirts and a black leather James Dean Jacket. (Very Ramones) Sometime during the end of the 20th century, I picked up some Camouflaged pants and used the multi-pocketed cargo pants to replace the jeans. I own roughly 30 black long sleeved mock turtle neck shirts, 6 ACU style Camo pants, 3 Urban Camo pants, 2 Woodland Camo pants and a few pair of Black and Blue Levi 501s.  I mainly wear the ACU 8 pocket Camoes with the black mock turtle neck long sleeve shirts.  I also wear tactical military boots in brown suede and black leather.  And this was long before Duck Dynasty was a Dynasty.

I’ve been blessed by the god of follicles.  I’ve been pretty consistent all of my life.  Unlike some Rock musicians that had beautiful long hair, then cut it to try and appeal to a “younger demographic”, I’ve always, (with few exceptions due to employment) had the Rod Stewart/Alice Cooper look.  Not because I want to look like a rock star, it just goes with my face.  I think this is a personal decision each person needs to make in the mirror.  Not from the cover of a magazine.  What looks good on Michael Jordan doesn’t look good on me. Some faces and complexions go well with long hair and some with short.  Slowly let it grow out and see if it’s for you. You can always cut it, and it will usually grow back (Alopecia not withstanding)

 Women never seem to be happy with their hair.  The color of their hair, the length of their hair and finally the style of their hair.  To quote the comedian “Gallagher”: “They go into the bathroom for an hour, come out looking like a clown and you have to live with them ugly for 8 weeks”.  I’ve given up trying to understand why women are so discontent with their hair.  It’s obviously an insecurity that is actively exploited by the cosmetic companies. 
I think whatever body weight maintains a healthy blood pressure is the right weight for you  This seems to be a serious issue with women and an often neglected issue with men.  Men can be overweight and still look somewhat normal.  The danger lies in the silent unintended consequences.  Hypertension, Joint damage and one of the most painful diseases, GOUT can ruin your life. 
Women on the other hand often develop eating disorders in an attempt to look like they’re 17 again.  Women (More so than men) tend to fall victim to anorexia or even worse, Bulimia. When you lose weight you’re not just tweaking your appearance, but your metabolism as well.  (See Terri Schiavo 2005)  When you disrupt your enzymatic chemistry, you risk going into a Persistent vegetative state.

You must hit rock bottom just like a drug addict. 
Gaining weight is a long term stealth issue.  It’s like the progressive movement in America.  It didn’t happen overnight.  And likewise; you’re not going to lose 60 pounds overnight.  But your conscious mind has to want to lose weight.  I don’t know what it takes to make you a believer.  It’s like being a Liberal all your life and finding out it’s gotten you nowhere.  You look at the scale or the mirror and say to yourself: “I’ve had it with you, You fat slob”.  On 2/15/2012, I stepped on a scale in my doctor’s office and was appalled. I went home that night and said, no more beer and I’m going to put myself on protein shakes until I lose a substantial amount of weight.  I’ve lost 60 pounds since that day.  I’ve also quit drinking.  Strangely enough, my blood pressure is fine and I look good.  But the key to losing weight is a paradigm shift.  In other words, you need to repent from your former eating habits and be able to live with it. 
 Having lived the last decade in Carmel, I can safely say that I’m the 2nd most recognizable person in Monterey County.  You can imagine who the MOST recognizable person is. (Go ahead, make my day).

Looking cool is about being the best version of yourself.
That’s it.
Happy New Year's Eve


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home