ACE'S CAFE AMERICAIN & HEARTBREAK HOTEL: THE BEST OF THE REST

RATHER THAN PAINFULLY DRAGGING IT OUT.......

My Editor felt it best that I not make this a series of Hotties gone ugly. My message was to those in their 20s and 30s. We are wired by our creator to be attracted to physical attributes. (For more info on how we choose our mates, see my article entitled "Love is in the eye of the viewer"). But if you find yourself "In Love" with the beautiful girl on the right (below) beware that if all you are attracted to is the image; you might be married to the image on the left. I am not putting down the woman on the left but I'm admonishing you against the blindness of beauty. (And great sex)

What I'm saying is there needs to be substance in the person. You need to question attributes such as trustworthiness, honesty, loyalty, pretty much everything in the Boy Scout Oath. If you find these wonderful lasting attributes, and your partner loses her physical attributes, you still have a wonderful partner. If all you have are physical attributes that give way to excess and sloth, you will have no one to blame but yourself and a small apartment and a storage unit for the half of the stuff you got to keep.

Here's our cover girl, Nicolette Scorsese. Now (left) and then (right).

The next woman is best known for her for her role as Helen Griswold in National Lampoon's "Vacation" Movies. Christmas Vacation is the same movie that uncovered Nicolette Scorsese (above) But in all four Vacation Movies, Actress and country singer Beverly D'Angelo played the Matriarch of the Griswold family. In the eighties BD was quite Hot. If you query her name, you're bound to find several "Nude Shower Scenes" that she did in the Movie "European Vacation". (These are only significant in that it shows what a great body Ms. D'Angelo had at the time) For the sake of dignity and other misconceptions, you can look them up for yourself if you're into that sort of thing.

Beverly D'Angelo

In the late 90's she started appearing on NBCs hit TV show, "Law and Order". It's my guess that the former Mrs. Griswold had gained a good 50 to 60ounds. It is hard to find any public images of Ms. D'Angelo during this phase of her career. However; if you saw an episode of SVU or Law and Order you had to do a double take as she looked nothing like Helen Griswold. The following photo was taken sometime during the end of the 1990s. I believe it to be the beginning of her transition.

In the above image; the photographer was being kind to Ms. D. Her hair is pulled forward and she is wearing a black sweater. During her time at NBC she was forced to wear corporate attire with her hair pulled back and a wool suit. She looked like Dan Akroyd in Trading Places trying to stuff food from the Christmas party in his Santa Costume. Only one word could describe her appearance on Law and Order.

"Unrecognizable"

Finally it appears that the actress/country singer decided to lose weight. I won't waste the time on determining whether she lost it naturally or if it was at the end of a Plastic Surgeon's knife. But her recent 2012 images show an over tightened facelift. (I'll do a Series on how to recognize bad plastic surgery another time).

Berverly D'Angelo then and now.

Again, We must go to the Dick Wolf locker of recycled actresses to find another hot actress that caught the train to excess. I really love this actress for her acting. For three years I had no Idea that the actress I was watching was the same "Hottie" from the 1985 movie Brewster's Millions starring John Candy and Richard Pryor. I'm talking about "Tovah Feldshuh". She's more popularly known as defense attorney Danielle Melnick on the USA/NBC franchise law and Order.

Ms. Feldshuh playing a designer in Brewster's Millions. 1985.

Ms. Feldshuh as defense attorney Danielle Melnick.

(Circa 2010)

By now you are probably using the same paradigm most middle aged thick people use. And this line was actually posted on my FB page by my beloved brother. "She's getting old and pudgy. Cut her some slack". And my point originally started out on the premise, "Do not use physical attraction as a marital compass (Or Barometer). This was never meant to be a "Look at them Now" segment. I do not know any of the women featured in this article and they could all be angelic creatures of wonderful character. I would just hope that the single reader would not fall for the cover of the book. (And that during the Holidays, you think twice about second servings and say no to the wonderful 200 calorie tarts and appetizers).

It appears now as though I'm just bashing attractive women. Again, that was not my original intention or intent. People let themselves go for a number of reasons. If you look at the many excuses for how they got that way, it comes down to one common denominator. It's usually "denial leading to a lack of self discipline".

In our youth we are blessed with a higher metabolic rate. Our bodies burn that 320 calorie Heineken just going to the restroom. But when you go from a 32 inch waist line to a 40 inch circumference as my friend Sinbad likes to joke about; you need to get to the point where you say: "I'm not burning it off like I use to". (I'm getting older).

My Mentor Dr. Stephen R. Covey once said: "Nothing fails like success". But in fairness to the women of the silver screen, I wanted to point out those actresses that I fancy that have kept an eye on their appearance as well as their intake. It is possible to enjoy success and not let it go to your physique.

From the Christmas Movie "Trading Places" we see a gorgeous supermodel who plays Dan Akroyd's fiancé. Penelope Witherspoon. I'm referring to the actress "Kristen Darnell Holby, the niece of Duke and Duke.

I don't know what ever became of Ms. Holby's acting career, except I know she married James Darnell, a biology professor. She did professional modeling for fashion magazines and opened the dress shop Clotilde in New York City. This is a recent picture of the lovely Penelope Witherspoon 30 years after trading places. Professor Darnell is a lucky guy.

FINALLY THE WORLD'S 8th WONDER

ANDIE MACDOWELL

I have an in depth background in cosmetic surgery (aka plastic surgery) but remember, the term "Plastic" surgery is really a counter intuitive term. The prefix "Plastic" brings to mind, molding a resin. So people immediately think that all plastic surgery is a discipline to enhance one's looks. The prefix "Plastic" comes from the root word "Plasty" which simply means to "Repair" we see the term used for any part of the body that needs to be repaired. A good example would be the Septoplasty. Your Septum is the cartilage that divides the airways in your nose. Cartilage bends and when you straighten it to breath through that side of your nose properly, a surgeon (Usually ENT) does a Septoplasty.

If the surgery is done to remove a "hump" on top of your nose or done to modify the appearance of your nose, it's called either aesthetic surgery or Cosmetic surgery. Not plastic surgery. A Rhytidoplasty is the excision of excess facial skin. (AKA the facelift) If you query "Andie MacDowell" 9 out of 10 articles will question if she has good genes or a good doctor. When I refer to Ms. MacDowell, whom you would recognize from the movies "Green Card" or "Groundhog Day", I say: "She doesn't look any different at her current age as of today (55) than she did at 25. I've seen this phenomena before. Look at the late Dick Clark of American Bandstand and the "New Year's Rocking Eve" show. He was called "The eternal teenager".

Good genes are not enough. If you live a "sane" life, get plenty of rest, eat real food, (non-processed frozen bag food or fast food) If you drink plenty of water and take Vitamin supplements, you can get the best out of your blessed appearance. Unfortunately; going to a Hollywood party, drinking tequila and leaving yourself 2 hours for sleep will damage your body tissue. From your blood (Yes it's a tissue) To your skin.

ANDIE MacDOWELL 1993

in Groundhog day

AGE 35