Sunday, March 09, 2008

I'm Back.....................

Sorry for the hiatus. But many of you know how I have issues with abandonement. The death of Mike Smith is just another layer of my tragic youth being stripped away from my concious life. I know (not think) that the older you get, the more it bothers you when your peers, friends, relatives or heros die.

Even when a pet dies after a certain age, it's much harder to let go of.

I've often felt a kindred spirit with John Lennon and Art Alexakis as we all came from shattered families. John wrote of his angst and effect of divorce of his parents in the song "Tell me Why" . The line that hits home with all children of divorce at a young age is the line "If it's something that I said or done tell me what and I'll apologize". Most children think it's their fault that their parents are no longer happy.

Art Alexakis from Everclear has written several songs about breaking up and the effects on the children. Just listen to "Father of Mine" or "Wonderful". Art hits the nail on the head when he says in Wonderful "I don't want to meet your friends, I don't want to start over again, I just want things the way they use to be. I don't want to hear you'll understand someday, I don't want to hear we've both grown our seperate ways. I want the things I had before like a starwars poster on my bedroom door"

Unfortunately "The Media" meaning television and magazine glamorizes the split family. In the 60's divorce was a shameful scar on everyone. The collateral damage done by divorce is even worse today because we have so many ways for our kids to live in denial.

Then when the product of divorce turns 21 he's so starved for the family that he lost that he clings to the first person that shows him affection (notice I didn't say love) All of a sudden the foolish grown child thinks he can relive an Ozzie and Harriet world with someone that just wants to party all night long. Of course they've got to have 2.5 kids so they can pass the torch of divorce on to them. It's an endless reciprocating cycle of disposable relationships.

The answer as always is personal accountability. Starting with the children of divorce. If you can counsel these kids into understanding that marrying ASAP is not going to bring thier parents back or make things the way they use to be, then you'll have people marrying for more of the right reasons. And if that happens, perhaps, they'll understand the importance of staying together and not perpetuating the cycle.

As Blink 182 says in one of their videos "50 percent of all marriages end in divorce" and at the end of the video it says "50 Percent of all marriages stay together"

Ace Out............


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