Friday, November 20, 2009

The Losses just keep on coming

This has been a tough year in general for losing people. I lost count of the famous people that died. I remember before Michael, Patrick and Farrah died blogging about Ed McMahan and someone else that died, then saying "I wonder who's going to be the third"? Third? I wish. The grim reaper took half of Hollywood with him.

Unfortunately I got new this week of two people in my life that passed that I was never informed about. Both were very special to me. One was like a surrogate mother to me after my real mom died. My real mom was from Arkansas and my adopted mom was from Oklahoma. I have to admit that my adopted mother was probably a better mother to me than my bio-mother. The other person that died was my adopted mother's daughter. She was like a sister to me. I believe she was a year younger than me as well. We shared long summers together in 1968 thru 1970. Her brother was my best friend during those times. He would eventually give me the fatal news this week.

I've learned something that I MUST pass on to everyone out there. It's so important to greive the loss of your loved one. I did my best to pretend when my mom died (when I was 10) and when my father died, I was a pro at it. Then when my German Shepherd died in 2005; I fell apart. It ripped me to shreds. It wasn't just my K-9 companion, but the loss of my parents too that tore me inside out. 30 years of denial came back to get it's revenge. And it did.

Now that I get news of two more loved ones dying; I can't help but mourn. I've been in a hard to explain depression for a week now. So of course it's not just these two that are weighing so heavy on my mind, but everyone else that's died in the last 40 years.

Don't deny it. It will get you. Some how, some where, or some time, it will catch up with you; or you don't have a heart.


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